How to Make Confident Decisions -01

We feel it is important to make our podcast transcripts available for accessibility. We use quality artificial intelligence tools to make it possible for us to provide this resource to our audience. We do have human eyes reviewing this, but they will rarely be 100% accurate. We appreciate your patience with the occasional errors you will find in our transcriptions. If you find an error in our transcription, or if you would like to use a quote, or verify what was said, please feel free to reach out to us at [email protected].

Are you ready to unlock the confidence you need to steer your life in the direction you desire? Today, we're talking about the most powerful vehicle for change. How to make confident decisions?

You're listening to Real Estate Energized, where real estate meets real life. I'm Dill Ward.

And I'm Nicholas Nascimento. And we are not just realtors. We're your guides to the world of real estate with a deeper twist.

If you're thinking about moving sometime in the future, are already in motion with an upcoming move or are real estate professional who recognizes there's more depth to real estate than just a transaction, then join us on a journey as we unlock the real stories of personal growth that happens while buying and selling real estate.

Each week, we’ll bring you unique perspectives and profound life lessons we've seen through our clients and our own experiences. Let's get started.

Dill, aren't you glad we're talking about decisions today?

I'm so excited to be talking about decisions today.

Alright. Me too. What have you been noticing about decisions in the world?

You know, I felt like this was the perfect topic because, you know, you and I have been talking about this a lot. Like, I come home after a long day of meeting and talking to people and being out in the world. And I'm like, woah, everybody is like, locked down in confusion and the uncertainty of the market conditions and the economy and just everybody's got a little bit of a funk going on around decisions.

Yeah. Isn't it weird? Like, feel like right now, there's just so many diverse topics funneling their mental capacity to decide anything about. And it kind of like, leaves a lot of open threads and open considerations.

Yeah. We were talking about that book that I read where it basically said, like, your brain is like RAM on your computer. And the more open loops that you have that are not completed, are just taking up mental bandwidth. And I know, the other day when I was telling you about this, you said, yeah, there's just this latent frustration going on in the world because the ambivalence of not being able to make either really big life decisions or even just really small decisions, like, what should I have for dinner?

Right. And, you know, there's a lot of people just like they're operating in this place of that latent frustration. And even, you know, like, when I'm driving around town and I get cut off by somebody and he's, like, driving kind of aggressively. I think to myself, man, that guy must be having a lot more decisions that are just like flustering him up or her up. And I kind of give grace to people who are in this experience, but there's just a lot of stuff floating around. We have to make decisions about, you talked about, like, market conditions. But even beyond that, you know, there's the different talking heads that people are trying to entertain, and there's a wide variety of, like, you know, whether or not to consider different treatments or whether or not to pursue different financial interests. Like, there's so much going on.

Yeah. I think we're definitely in a state of overwhelm, and a lot of people are not able to make any decisions, and so they're not able to move their life forward in the direction that they want. And I think that's why we were like; we should talk about this because this is something we're noticing and something people need a little comfort and tips and tools around. So,

exactly. And not everybody has the same tools that you and I have. There are some people who are, like, verbal processors who just like to, like, gurgitate, just like to, like, spit up the words as they come out of their mind. They can't really have internal dialogue without having, like, a soundboard to, like, bounce off of.

I think that's totally me, Nic. Are you calling me out here?

I'm not saying there's anybody specific that does this, but, you know, there are 2 of us here, and I know that I'm the internal processor where I just like, I get up and I look around and I go, I think I'm going to go do the dishes because it just came to mind. And then you'll ask me, where are you going to go to the dishes? You could do the dishes later, and I'll say, it just came up. And you'll say, well, do them later. And I'll say, I've decided I'm doing them later.

And I'll say, it's because I need to tell you things. I need to process. I need to tell you all the details so that I can come to a conclusion.

It's beautiful. I think that's one of the things that's important about, you know, recognition when you're making decisions is understanding, like, how you process. You know, I think we'll get to that later. But I want to know right now, what's got you energized today, Dill?

Well, I have been feeling incredibly energized, specifically, because I've gotten myself to the other side of making some big decisions. And I felt like the internal turmoil of trying to make a decision about so many different things at one time was just like, hacks in my body. Like, my stomach was just hurting. I was getting headaches. And I felt like, God, am I ever going to just make a decision? And then, once I did., now I'm like, I'm like a cat running out of a cat box. I'm like, I feel so energized.

Oh gosh.

I do think coming through making some big decisions, you know, together and also on my own, that we have really come to a few key points that we can share today to help other people in figuring out their decision-making process. I love how literally our pillow talk is the personal growth and trying to understand ourselves better and have introspective end agency over our own minds and lives.

Yeah. I mean, in the end, like, whatever it is you do during the day. If you can come back and, like, take ownership of where your mind goes and how your mind handles the different pressures and or situations you're involved in, the better you can, like, function as a human being in the world. All I really want to do is just be better humans. Right?

Yes. And speaking of being better humans, I have been saying, if we could all just take personal responsibility. I think one of the things that keeps people from making a confident decision is that they have this need to be so perfect. Every single aspect of every component of the decision, they're seeking to be perfect. And in that, they don't want to take any responsibility for the outcome. So, they're just sitting on doing nothing.

I mean, we all know somebody in our lives. I don't know that I want to get into specific names, but there are people who will sit back and they will get into a situation, and they will say, nope. I had nothing to do with this. Nothing that is happening right now is my doing. That I have no ownership of, and it just reels them up into this bundle of, like, fluster that they can't keep explaining away the problems they're experiencing because of that lack of ownership. It's tough, but the thing that we really need to kind of return to is, like, figuring out how we can make decisions so that we can improve at making that. And I think that's our first point is, like, figure out your decision process.

Yeah. And owning how you decide, do you need to verbally process? And something that we talk about a lot, especially in our work in real estate. It's like we have clients that we're advising, and then they go and talk to someone who has never done what they're trying to do. And they come back completely spun out with so much internal confusion. So, I think this is really critical that we highlight that if you're in the research and due diligence mode of a decision, to be really mindful about who is on the advisory council of that.

And you mentioned earlier, like, first time decision makers. A lot of people often will say, I've never done this before, as though it's some sort of, like, scorn or, like, some sort of, like, blemish on their record. Like, it's a failing they haven't quite come upon, but the reality is, I've never done this and it should be a battle cry. It should be like; I've never done this before. I'm going to own it. And in that, you're learning how you make the decisions that are bigger than what you've made before, decisions wise.

Yeah. And giving yourself space to grow, to iterate, to take that new information, to charging to the next decision with the results of the outcome and observe. And I think you say it best when you're like, just give yourself grace. Give yourself grace for learning and for trying.

Yeah.

And being brave.

You know, I think you make a lot, I mean, a lot of decisions. And besides talking with me about what those decisions might be and kind of working towards the solutions and indecision finalities. What other techniques do you use for yourself and for your clients?

One thing I love to tell people. Usually, I'm standing in a driveway and it's like 7 o'clock at night. They've just worked all day. And real estate often happens to you. So, you can't really plan, like, on Thursday, I think I'll find my dream home and pursue in that path. You know? Like, no. You're at work. You're trying to get stuff done. You get a bling, bloop, blop from your phone. And a house just, like, appears on your radar, and it gives you the feels. You're like, oh, what's this? Bido, and you're in this whole, like, romantic relationship with this online listing, you know? And like, there you are, you know, after working all day, you probably skipped lunch, probably skipped dinner. You've been running around and now you're in the house. Now you're in the house and you're in throes of a decision and your emotions and everything's just taking the best of you, even though you're trying to be calm and collective, but you're standing in the driveway and the agent's looking at you going, well, what do you want to do? And I often say to my clients, hey, why don't you just go home, eat dinner, and go to bed? Let it go out of your mind. Like, obsess about it a little bit, do a little research, but then just, like, let it go away. See what happens. Come back to you.

Because your head and your heart both have really strong forces of communication. But your intuition and your gut, that gut feeling right when you wake up and it's not clouded by any other thoughts is so powerful.

You know, and I think for a lot of people too, it's kind of hard to differentiate between, like, you know, that gut feeling and maybe like indigestion sometimes. Not to belittle the indigestion. It can be really painful. But, honestly, like, I think another litmus test that you can use too is the, the takeaway. Imagine that that decision has been made for you, and it's the negative option. So, there's like the, you know, you have the positive option where you have the thing and the negative option where you don't have the thing. So, in the house scenario, it's like you're standing outside of the house. You're like, okay.

Today, I'm calling you later, And I'm going to tell you that somebody else has got this house in contract. How do you feel? And then, like, that gut feeling, that first reaction, like, are you sad that you don't have it, or you're relieved you don’t have it? Like, that's another one of the things I feel is really useful is like a way to kind of figure it out if you haven't quite figured it out yourself, how you decide.

And, also, fear and excitement are both just energy in your body. Like, they can exist in tandem in your body. And I think that that is really important to understand because if you felt nothing, it probably doesn't matter.

Right.

Like, what you're trying to decide probably literally means nothing.

Yep. Yeah. That's the truth of it.

Okay. Shameless plug, great time to just say another fabulous tool that I've created for myself and for the world at large. If you're a client or friend, you've probably seen me talk about this or got a copy. But I would love to invite listeners out there if they want a copy. I created this amazing little card deck. It's called, inward prompts. 53 inspirational aspirational cards to help you get some clarity. So, I created this little deck. I leave it in my bag.

Every time my mind is getting so clouded and I'm facing, like, even just simple decisions that are like technology based or trying to decide, like, which color to use on a flyer. And my mind's just getting really clouded. I will open up my bag, pull out this little deck, and pull out a card, and it just gives me a little break from the efforting of thinking and also gives me a little bit of wisdom. So, I just pulled a card for us now, and it says all things are hard until they're easy. And I just love that because that really goes so long with what we're talking about right here.

And that kind of leans definitely back towards that topic of, like, the first timers. At first, it's going to seem hard.

I'm just going to say too, if you're out there, send me an Instagram message. I'll be happy to send you a free deck of the inward prompts to help you.

They're awesome cards, by the way.

Yeah. Okay. Let's get back to another main point we wanted to make, which was that how can we live with more intention?

Wow. You know, I think about this daily, like how can I really embrace a more decisive lifestyle? Often, we fall into this like, I'm going to make this because that is what somebody else wanted and my life is now leaning that way. And I have to live with their decisions because this is my life now, but that is completely like surrendering all of your decisive ability in saying that it's no longer your responsibility what the outcome is because somebody else figured it out or made a decision.

And something we always say, when you make no choice, you've actually made a choice.

Yeah. No. Not choosing is a choice.

Except for you don't get to control the outcome, and then you're just, you know, critical.

Exactly. Well, you know, I think one of the things I noticed when I'm thinking about, like, living with intention is when you find yourself in a situation where you feel like the world has drummed up some new puzzle for you to solve. It's really about how you put it together. Like, you can phrase it as like, well, and one example of recent is, like, I went to the grocery store and I wanted to buy bagels, but all they had was the blueberry bagels. And I really wanted everything bagels. And so, I didn't see the everything bagels, and they had blueberry bagels. And I could have just said, oh, well, I'm just going to go home with the blueberry bagels and tell people, well, all or tell you specifically. All they had was the blueberry bagels. I know I'm supposed to bring home everything bagels, but today, we're just going to suffer with blueberry bagels. But the reality is you can decide and say, hey. I'm given the opportunity to try these blueberry bagels. Let's try something new and go with something different and switch it up. I feel like that's like part of the experiences that we can have every day where we can try and decide to live with choice as like our forefront.

Like you can get in the car and drive to another store and look for the everything bagels.

Well, it could have. Yeah.

But that's choice. Right? Like living in choice and getting to decide what decisions really need to be made and what don't. Some you can accept the hands of fate, and others, no. You need to take charge and get out there and get it.

It's too true. It's too true. I often think of times where we're faced with a decision, and we're trying to, like, mobilize our minds towards any of the outcomes. And I think that, like, often, you like to elevate your future self. Feel like you like to say, I'm going to be grateful for myself for having made that decision. Whereas I feel like often, the rhetoric I see online is one of like, oh, I'm totally going to regret this tomorrow. You know, people who go to the bar, and they’re, like, having that that 3rd whiskey. They're like, I'm going to regret this tomorrow. I feel like in a lot of ways, your approach is completely different than I've seen a lot of people approach it, and I love that.

Yeah. I love loving myself in the future now, thing. I'm going to be kind to myself for creating this outcome. And often, I look back. I'm very nostalgic, and I don't know why I'm so hung up, but I love Facebook memories reminding me of things I've posted in the past. And I specifically love on any given day, it’ll say, 10 years ago, you posted this. 9 years ago, you posted this. 5 years ago, you posted this. And I'm like, damn. I'm always smart on this day.

Tuesdays are a good day for me.

Yeah. One thing I like to think about too is, like, when you're thinking about events like that, to have that seated thought of I'm going to think I was really brilliant when I made this decision. And another thing is I think it's important to kind of think about, like, how you're going to feel regarding the ability you had to make the decisions you could make with the information in front of you. If you could step back and look again at all the data you had in that snapshot of time. Like, you really could only make so many decisions based on that limited information. You can't know things you don't know. So, you can't be mad at yourself for making a decision based off of limited information. You got to just move forward and look for the positive progressive step from that point. And, I think that's another point that kind of leans into, like, processing the eventual downfall. The inevitable downfall of sometimes you don't make a great decision, and you kind of have to live with the intention of, like, well, if that's going to happen, I'm going to know that I've made the best decision right now or tomorrow.

Yeah. And also recognizing that what you're going to learn coming through the other side, you couldn't learn until you got yourself into the situation that you got yourself into. So, I like to always tell myself, I'm either winning or I'm learning.

Yeah.

It's so easy to be so hypercritical of yourself, especially if you're calling in on the hotline to your broke friends or the family members or the people who really are not rooting for you. They really are just, they're there for the drama. Like they wouldn't, you know, you're like, hey, I'm thinking about starting this business, or I'm thinking about buying my 1st rental property or, you know, and they've never done it and they're terrified of it and they immediately have 15 stories to tell you about why you're going to fail.

Wait. Hold on. You're saying that my uncles, cousins, nannies, brothers, contractor friend who's, like, 7 states over don’t know if I should buy this house?

I mean, that's what we see every day is somebody gets spun out by talking to someone who doesn't really see what they've invested. That's another thing that really stresses me out when somebody will look at 25, 35, 40 homes and really try to find the best one at their budget. And then someone else comes to the party and looks at 1 home with them and still wants to tell them why it sucks. And it's just like they did so much work to try to find the best home and what the variables they are working with.

Yeah.

Such a bummer.

Yeah. I think it's like you have to gauge your information based on the level of investment a person will have in the outcome. You'll find the people who are just wanting to stir the misery, and you want to lean into the people who are, like, thinking of your needs and your wants.

Yeah. Another little bit of advice, if you're on the cusp of making a decision and you're going into a realm that you have never been in. Like get brave and call up and reach out to some people that you really admire, that, you know, have done it many times over and just reach out. I mean, the world is like loves to be a mentor. There are so many highly successful people that would welcome a call with the right positioning, but just to ask someone who's done the thing that you want to do, if they will share in the experience for you, and being brave helps you get there.

Yeah. I think often we call it looking up the ladder.

Looking up the ladder. Exactly. So, what are some energizing takeaways here that we can just digest and run through? We've talked about a lot of smart stuff here. What are the highlights?

Embrace your decision process. Find it and figure it out, make some small decisions, find out how it is you decide what to do in complicated situations and practice that.

And remember how good it feels to be on the other side, just to get into the motion and out of the ambivalence.

And then also, yeah, embrace that other side because at the time you're making decisions, you may not know everything, and you're not supposed to know everything. Otherwise, what fun would it be to make any decision if you already knew the outcome of every option?

Also, Brene Brown says, to be clear is to be kind. And what I highly recommend is, if your RAM is full, if you've got open loops, if you're having trouble just having basic conversations with people because you're trying to think about so many things, just tell people. Tell the people you love, your friends, your family, your spouse, your kids. Tell them, hey. I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. My head is full. Let them know that you're not just purposely being grouchy or ignoring the question about what to have for dinner.

Yeah. And speaking of making decisions about dinner, you got to make opportunities to live with intention. Just go out there and decide to do things that are outside of your comfort zone. And I think that's something else you can do pretty easily.

If you loved this episode and you have someone in your life that you know is trying to make a decision, share this with them. Let them feel the good vibes and the smart stuff too.

Join us next week for more energizing insights to help you own your full potential.

As we close the door on another incredible episode of Real Estate Energized. We want to express our heartfelt gratitude to you, our listeners. If you're looking to buy or sell real estate anywhere, I need a great agent, or you are an inspired agent yourself, connect with us.

We hope you found inspiration and insight in this episode. Remember, real estate is not just about walls and roofs. It's about the stories and dreams that fill those spaces.

Stay tuned for more exciting stories and life lessons in the episodes to come. And if you have a unique real estate story or topic, you'd like us to explore, reach out in the links below in the show notes.

Until next time. Keep dreaming, keep growing, and keep finding joy in the journey. Thanks for joining us on Real Estate Energized.